The Newest Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language  
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!”
Submitted by: Kevin Penner

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map   
Maria: This is it   
Teacher: Well done   Now class, who found America  
Class: Maria did   
Submitted by: Kmankoolman

1.Invisible ink

Q: "Have you got any invisible ink?"

A: "Certainly, sir. What colour would you like?"

Joke 1

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.

"Yes, of course." she answered. "Why do men always ask the same question?!"

Joke 2

When I was young, I didn't like going to the weddings. My grandmother would tell me, " You' re next."

However, she stopped doing that when I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Joke 3

Teacher: Maria! Please point to America on the map.

Maria:    This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now, class! Who found America?

Class: Maria did.

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.

 Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born..
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.

 Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.

 Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

This is a list of funny jokes about exams and study!

Absence!

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

Age

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one....

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.

'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.

'When did you graduate?' I asked.

He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?'

'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'

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